Who Loves Ya Baby?

So a rather un-eventful day, thank goodness. Goshen hasn't started to get to me too much, and at the rate that Dad is making me drinks I don't see it being too much of a problem.....is it bad to become a heavy drinker when you stay with your parents? Oh well I'm enjoying it. Lemon-aid with a bunch of Skyy and a high def TV...all I need is the NFL Network and I would be set!
I have 3 goals for this break: work on my paper, hang out with my friends, and maybe see my family I lost from the break-up. The last part scares me to no end, I feel really weird going back to them, what if they don't want me back like I want them. I miss my nieces and my other family. And I'm kinda lacking in the essential part of that family...he is getting drunk in Florida instead.
ugh, my brain is trying to be dangerous...I will not allow myself to fall head first in to that mess again...dip my feet in...or up to my waist maybe...but not head first. I need to get my life in order! I don't have time to be worrying about a relationship, but its so hard for me to be like this. Relationship is what I've known for 6 years, while its great to not have the responsibility of a relationship....I miss having someone lying next to me at night, wrapping his arms around me in his sleep. I miss having someone that truly gives a damn about my future because its his future too. Or someone that makes me feel....anything.
And this is why Goshen suck...all I can think about is what I don't have