Two Step Forward, One Phone Call That Makes You Cry

What the Hell am I doing!? Oh right I'm being STUPID! Why, oh why did today have to happen?!
Yes this girl has LOST IT! Move over Mad Hatter, because it's going to be MY tea party now! I woke up this morning, and thought "Damn, it's really windy and snowing" not "Hey, I really hope his MOTHER calls me today and destroys my 'I'm going to be OK without them' state of mind".
I was just sitting at my desk, thinking about what I wanted for lunch, and my phone rings, I look at the caller ID and I see her name....WHY DID I THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO ANSWER THE PHONE?!?! Because it's so rare that my phone actually rings and I don't believe in not answering the phone, it's just rude. She told me that she thought that she was calling Sam's Club, not me but preceded to ask me how I was doing. I told her I didn't feel like walking in front of buses anymore, but still not great. She told me that he was stressed out about school and that "he would come around"....I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME AROUND!! I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS! HE'S HURT ME TOO MUCH! I just want him to stay where he is...it's safer for me.
Why oh why did I answer the phone, I mean I was shaking...from talking on the phone for like a grand total of 7-8 minutes tops. She wants me to come by the house when I'm home, and she told me she loved me! I convinced myself that I would never hear that again...and I did...today...and instead of being happy...I'm balling like a baby.

I need someone to save me from myself!