"Its harder to have everything that it is to have nothing"

Is it really easier to have nothing? No friends, no family, no lover, nothing but an empty void of what should be your heart? God I hope they are right because its the only way that I can give him what he wanted. He decided to have a life without me, no future with me, so why should he have his cake and eat it too when it only brings me a burning pain, that only he can cure? I just wanna curl up into a little ball and cry my broken heart out till it kills me. I don't wanna see my friends, I don't wanna see anyone actually. I only see my family because I live with them, if I was still at school I wouldn't be seeing anyone unless they broke my door down....which knowing some of my friends they would not only break it down, but take it away from me too.

There is no future with him, why do I keep doing this to myself?!?! A year ago he was my family, my reason to better myself, everything...and here I cry with nothing.....oh yes Emo me is back and worse than ever!

Am I his family like he said? Is there a future there that I can't see? Are we just bad for each other? Or am I just being a fucking fool and hoping for something that is no longer possible? Why doesn't he love me anymore?!?!? What did I do to make things change?? Why does this hurt so much?? Why can't I hate him for all this pain I feel?